Posted in Parenting, Working Parent

Turning Life into Teaching Moments

It happens to every parent. You work hard to raise your children with a certain set of values, to choose right over wrong and good over, well, not-so-good. So, when I found out that my child, in an attempt to seem “cool” and “tough,” had made the not-so-good choice, I was disappointed and sad. I frankly questioned everything, forcing my brain to race back in time and try to sort out what I did “wrong.” How, after all of these years of coaching and training and explaining, how did he chose the wrong way to go in this situation? He knew the right thing to do, yet he stubbornly went for the puffed-chest, tough-guy route. Ugh.

On the drive home — yes, the principal called while I was teaching and in-between lessons (perfect.) — I had time to think, which was probably a really good thing. I wanted him to understand the seriousness of his decision and to go through, AGAIN, what would have been a better response to that situation and why what he did was so wrong. My other two children found out what had happened. While I was trying to keep it just between us, it did lend me an opportunity to discuss similar situations with them and how they should handle themselves in those moments. Because it had hit so close to home, I think they took it more seriously than maybe they would have otherwise. It was just the very next week when my youngest found himself in just a situation as I had described to them. When his teacher came out at pick-up time to tell me about it, she praised him on doing the right thing, making the right decision! So, what had started out as a pretty ugly circumstance, ended up as a powerful teaching tool with predicted success.

Really, every moment can be a teaching moment. Good times can be a teaching moment: “Isn’t this fun when we compromise and work together?!” Frustrating times can be a teaching moment: “You were really frustrated by this project, but you persevered and look at this great result!” (Two nights ago’s conversation.) Sad times can be a teaching moment: “I’m sorry your toy broke. What can we do differently when you want something your friend has?” (Last night’s conversation.) Proud times can be a teaching moment: “You worked so hard during your basketball season and really improved!” I think the more we can use these kinds of motivating words and teach from all angles of life, the good times and bad, we do so much for our children.

Author:

I have been active as a freelance performer since 1992 and as a teacher since 1996. I currently serve as Second Flute with the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic orchestra and have performed with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra, Indianapolis Chamber Winds, Terre Haute Symphony Orchestra, Danville (Illinois) Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Chamber Singers Orchestra, and the United States Collegiate Wind Bandโ€™s European Tour, among other ensembles. I have also enjoyed performing for various occasions such as formal and charitable recitals as well as giving master classes at Butler University in Indianapolis and at Morehead State University in Morehead, Kentucky. I am also Adjunct Professor of Flute at Indiana Wesleyan University. I earned a Master of Music in Performance with Distinction at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England studying with Peter Lloyd and Laura Jellicoe. While in England, I played in charitable concerts for St. Augustineโ€™s Catholic Church. I was featured as a soloist at the Pennine Spring Music Festival in Heptonstall, England in addition to performing in the music festivalโ€™s orchestral and solo events. I earned a Bachelor of Science in Performance with Distinction at the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music where I studied principally with Kathryn Lukas. While at Indiana University, I also had the incredible opportunity to study for several weeks with Barbara Kallaur on baroque flute, Donald Peck, Thomas Robertello, and Kate Hill. I am lucky to be the mother of three beautiful and talented children, and I play on a wonderful David Straubinger 10K gold flute with 14K head joint.

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