Posted in Parenting

Laughter is The Best Medicine

My little guy has been getting a bit bored lately. We live in a cold-winter climate, so going outdoors isn’t always an option, and it’s cloudy and wet more days than not. Also, he’s not as involved as my other two children are in after-school activities, and his favorite spring sport hasn’t started back up yet. He does entertain himself well with Minecraft and Geometry Dash online, but as soon as his allotted screen time is up, well, you know the drill: Mom! There’s nothing to do!! Of course, I give the usual list-making of all the games we can play and toys he can build with, but as I am saying this, I can see that he is crossing his arms and plopping himself moodily on the couch (read: gearing up for a “power struggle”). Uh oh. Here we go.

That day, I decided to try something different than my usual tactics to avoid or work around these kinds of power struggles — that dogged, “I’m going to say no to everything you suggest” attitude. I had just read earlier that laughing helps increase oxytocin (bonding hormone) and reduce anxiety and stress (Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham). I wanted to put some of what I had read into practice and see if it actually worked — to see if laughter could make a child go from being grumpy about his screen time ending to his normal happy, relatively compliant self. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous that he would just tell me to stop and then his mood would be worse. I do love our special time, which I have blogged about before, but when these kinds of moods strike — and we all know what I’m talking about! — it just feels rather forced. Still, I wanted to give it a try.

He looked up at me while sitting on the couch with his sweet but pouty face, and his arms crossed and eyes narrowed, and I looked back at him. But then I smiled, and I said, “look at this new bump on the couch [meaning him]! I’m going to sit on it and see if it’s soft!” As I turned to “sit” on him (gently, of course), he immediately started laughing and pushing me away, during which I said, “Oh wow! This couch grew legs and arms!” And we started laughing hysterically from then on! He immediately started suggesting other things we could do, like riding horses (I was the horse), and flying, with him on my feet in the air. We had so much fun. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time! It was one of our best special times together, and all of his previous grumpiness and defiance melted away.

I am looking forward to using this trick a lot more often. It does come with a caveat: if the child isn’t having it, if he isn’t playing along or the situation starts to deteriorate, then you’ll obviously need to turn to another tool in your parenting toolbox. But, I am going to use this as much as I can. What a fun way to turn a mood around! Next time you see that little rain cloud start to follow your little ones around, try some silliness and laughter to chase away the clouds. Laughter really is the best medicine.

Author:

I have been active as a freelance performer since 1992 and as a teacher since 1996. I currently serve as Second Flute with the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic orchestra and have performed with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra, Indianapolis Chamber Winds, Terre Haute Symphony Orchestra, Danville (Illinois) Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Chamber Singers Orchestra, and the United States Collegiate Wind Band’s European Tour, among other ensembles. I have also enjoyed performing for various occasions such as formal and charitable recitals as well as giving master classes at Butler University in Indianapolis and at Morehead State University in Morehead, Kentucky. I am also Adjunct Professor of Flute at Indiana Wesleyan University. I earned a Master of Music in Performance with Distinction at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England studying with Peter Lloyd and Laura Jellicoe. While in England, I played in charitable concerts for St. Augustine’s Catholic Church. I was featured as a soloist at the Pennine Spring Music Festival in Heptonstall, England in addition to performing in the music festival’s orchestral and solo events. I earned a Bachelor of Science in Performance with Distinction at the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music where I studied principally with Kathryn Lukas. While at Indiana University, I also had the incredible opportunity to study for several weeks with Barbara Kallaur on baroque flute, Donald Peck, Thomas Robertello, and Kate Hill. I am lucky to be the mother of three beautiful and talented children, and I play on a wonderful David Straubinger 10K gold flute with 14K head joint.

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