Posted in Parenting

Want to Reconnect? Two words: Special Time.

I love special time. It’s time you set aside and devote to one of your children at a time. It’s time just for them, and it makes all the difference. They get to pick the game, activity, you name it, and they get your undivided attention. Wow! That makes them feel so….well….special! They get you, and they don’t have to share for 15 (or whatever you decide) whole minutes. That’s huge for a child!

The benefits of special time are immense. When the child feels like they don’t have to compete for your attention, they just don’t. They get you all to themselves. It fills up their craving to play or just be with you, and kids need this, whether or not they know it or can even articulate it. It gives them a feeling of security by being in your presence, and this carries with them. It helps to build trust and faith in you, too! And when they get to pick the activity, that gives them some positive power. Super cool — a two for one!

I always notice a big difference when I’ve neglected special time. I’m an imperfect human — my day gets away from me, we’re rushing around with sports practices, laundry needs to get finished because they need their uniforms washed, you name it! We’ve all been there. What happens when I’ve let special time slide? Behavior problems start to come up again. I’ve not given my child that positive attention that he craves, and so he acts out to get it. It happens every time. The nice thing about this is that it’s fixable. Every time. So, don’t give up! Fill your child up with quality special time every day, and be consistent. I always see a change for the good! I’m looking forward to some fun after dinner this evening!

Author:

I have been active as a freelance performer since 1992 and as a teacher since 1996. I currently serve as Second Flute with the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic orchestra and have performed with the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra, Indianapolis Chamber Winds, Terre Haute Symphony Orchestra, Danville (Illinois) Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Symphony Orchestra, Bloomington Chamber Singers Orchestra, and the United States Collegiate Wind Band’s European Tour, among other ensembles. I have also enjoyed performing for various occasions such as formal and charitable recitals as well as giving master classes at Butler University in Indianapolis and at Morehead State University in Morehead, Kentucky. I am also Adjunct Professor of Flute at Indiana Wesleyan University. I earned a Master of Music in Performance with Distinction at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England studying with Peter Lloyd and Laura Jellicoe. While in England, I played in charitable concerts for St. Augustine’s Catholic Church. I was featured as a soloist at the Pennine Spring Music Festival in Heptonstall, England in addition to performing in the music festival’s orchestral and solo events. I earned a Bachelor of Science in Performance with Distinction at the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music where I studied principally with Kathryn Lukas. While at Indiana University, I also had the incredible opportunity to study for several weeks with Barbara Kallaur on baroque flute, Donald Peck, Thomas Robertello, and Kate Hill. I am lucky to be the mother of three beautiful and talented children, and I play on a wonderful David Straubinger 10K gold flute with 14K head joint.

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